kindred spirit
Today is an odd day. The first monday I have not had to work in a very long time. Finally not being so sick all I can do is roll around in bed and whimper. But now I have time to myself, I have time to contemplate, which can be dangerous.
I wonder if you ever think of me when I am so far away from you. I knew when you were gone, it was going to be for good. I know you, i know you need space and just want to figure the world out by experiencing it. I know your beauty and power and how amazing you are. I think about you almost every day, which is strange because I don't think of other people as much as I think of you and I didn't spend half as much time with them. I worry about you, but them realize that if I could do it, surely you can do it better, because to me is seems you have just been a better form of myself in many ways.
Sometimes I wish I had just done what i thought I was naturally inclined to thrive for, but instead you followed that dream. Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to the pretty and popular and an object of extreme desire, but I know that you do that best for the both of us. Sometimes I think of you and I feel like maybe I might be able to sit down and relate to you sometime in the future.
Then sometimes I worry this is all in my head. [this is why free timne is dangerous].
I decided that I hope you are happy, I hope you have everything you every dreamed of, and I hope that every experience is something you can treasure in your soul without discarding in embarrassment, hoping no one sees. I love you kindred spirit, and know that i think of you every day, and that if you ever feel alone, know this, and know that no matter where life takes us, I am still with you, and you with me, and that I am always oprn for you. I hope your first year away from home is nothing short of amazing. I miss you.
I hope this dosen't make anyone feel lessed loved, know that I think of everyone from time to time, but there is just something starnge about my kindred spirit for me.
And Sarah, I think of you every day i sit down to knit, and only get a very small amount done, and I wish I had that damn thing dome for you like I promised, I wish life didn't get in the way like that. But it is like 1/5th done, so don't fret. I WILL finish it for you love. Promise.
2004-02-16 | 2:34 p.m.