hate.hate.hate.

Well, today is two years ago all over again. In a few minutes I am heading down to Sac town to have them look at my foot. I know what they are gonna say. Corrective Surgery. Again.

This was supposed to be all over and done with and yet I have a feeling that it has only just begun again.

It is getting to the point it just hurts to walk somedays, no matter what the circumstances. Like yesterday. It hurt before I even got out of bed.

How am I supposed to live a normal life when it hurts to even walk between classes? Am I supposed to not hike or run anymore? Should I just accept the fact I have never wear dress shoes again because my foot is fucked up? I can never look nice because the only thing I can fit my foot into is a fucking tennis shoe from walmart?

Did want to tell anyone ahead of time because I didn't want to visit anyone while I was down there. Just get it over with, carry on with my life. Not like the world will stop because I need it to. Still have a paper and a midterm this week.

maybe it is not a big deal, I have been through this before. But I just keep thinking that when I have kids, what are they going to think when I can't go out and have fun with them because it just hurts too much?

I don't trust what they have to say today. I hate this.

I really really hate this.

2004-03-10 | 10:54 a.m.

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