sad sad girl
because there is no one who comes over just to crash or hang.
Because the is no place where we just go and want to be because there is nothing else to do.
Because theme parties can be fun in a girlie way if you have friends that are girls.
Because being alonbe sucks.
Because I just can't make friends in chico.
Because I want to have girl's movie night.
I am going to make the new room mates my best friends. I hope this works because I need someone. I need a circle of friends. My life sucks.
(Yes, alone again on a friday night with no good reason to actually be doing what I am doing).
I am jealous of everyone who went off to college and got a new group of friends, because I never got a new boss crew and I will probably grow up, get married and never will have intimate friends again, and that makes me really really sad.
I miss Laura, we could have been really close maybe.
I wish I hadn't fucked up in the dorms and maybe made some friends instead of being antisocial.
I wish I could make myself have a relax button so I could be likable and ok to hang out with.
I wish I didn't feel so grown up and I wish I didn't take life so seriously (Europe was going to be my way to just let lose, go, and be spontaneous...and look how that went).
I feel like a 30 year old trapped in a 19 year old body.
But most of all, I feel lonly and I wish I had a new group of friends up hear because I could use a girls night out or just movies or just random going places and having a good time.
I am so sad and so pathetic. What happened?
Meh.
I need to mediatate or soemthing. blah.
2004-04-09 | 11:34 p.m.