welcome back...like MACE, haha
So...instead of getting a new diary, I have decided to just lock this one.
Frankly, I am just really creeped out right now and I can't go to sleep because my mind is racing and I really feel like my privacy and personal everything has been grossly violated.
I don't want to be the crazy weird neighbor girl. I want to meet normal guys and not scare them off. So i am thinking I am just going to withdrawl a bit maybe and take things a little more mellow for a while. But then I think that maybe I don't want to let some one else have this mch control over my life to where I have to change it and not do what I want to do.
At least I have my diary back because I need it for me. Really bad. I miss it.
Today was a wonderfully happy day, aside from the whole Brett thing. Things and people were great. I have great people in my life and I am much happier than I was last semester.I am so thankful for that, because with out them, right now I don't know where I would be. And as much as Brett wants to tell people that all I care about is where he party is at and buying my friends, that is not how I have chnaged, and it isn't how I am going to be. I am a person with depth, and I hate that he makes it seem to others that maybe I am not.
I don't like the person he has become. He scares me. And I never want to be with him again.
I have never been so upset by someone I care about in my life. I never want to go through this again. I am going to be much much more selective in the future. More intense screning. Starting now.
No more nieve Stephanie looking for the glorious goodness is every guy I meet. I am down right suspicious right now. Not that it could have changed things back then...but I have learned much and hopefully I never have to feel this way again. Here's to a crappy night's sleep...at least the house is warm.
2004-12-01 | 12:34 a.m.